Dare to Ask: Mom seeks nudist camp for 14-year-old son | jacksonville.com

Dare to Ask: Mom seeks nudist camp for 14-year-old son jacksonville.com

Submitted by Phillip Milano on April 7, 2010 - 12:00am Phillip Milano's Blog

Question

Is there a nudist camp in Europe that can handle my request that my son of 14 be made to stay completely nude for an entire stay next summer when he is out of school? — Megan, 34, nudist, Paris

Replies

That is a horrible thing to do to someone. — Norbert, 17, Minnesota.

If my parent forced me to be nude, whether I liked it or not, I would hate them and question their motives. Camp is supposed to be fun, not a summer of hell. — Britt, female, Washington, D.C.

That's called "child abuse." I'm not sure what you think you're accomplishing by planning to shove your lifestyle down his throat, but ... he'll hate you for the rest of his life. Have fun with that. — Ann, 39, Kansas City, Mo.

Don't most parents "shove" their lifestyle down their kids' throats? — Rochelle, Williston, N.D.

Expert says

We're not sure what they make young'uns do in those high-falutin' Europe parts, but in these good ol' U.S. of A. parts, we don't like to force 'em to show their parts.

Sure, we may dress our 5-year-olds in stripper-tops that say "Juicy" or "You Want This" on them, but just because someone's got a sleazy mom, does anyone really put stock in that famous saying about the apple not falling far from the pole?

Nicky Hoffman of the 25,000-member Naturist Society, which "promotes body acceptance through clothing-optional recreation," said most 14-year-olds are body-conscious and don't want to be in the buff.

"And they're certainly not going to a camp with Mom and Dad. That's all teens, not just naturists."

The worst thing to do is force them, she said.

"They might be very embarrassed. And I'm sorry to say, but if a child is very upset and talks about it and it gets out, a mother could lose custody."

But are there long-term negative psychological effects on a kid going natural?

"I don't think so. We've done polls and found that just about everyone has skinny-dipped with others at some point. The key thing is it has to be their choice."

Some might wonder if it's OK at all to raise a child in a nudist culture. Hoffman said that first, measures are taken to protect children at resorts or beaches, through self-policing and guidelines. More importantly, letting it all hang out fosters a healthy body image.

"We call our parts by the appropriate names and aren't ashamed of them. There's no 'pee-pee' in naturism. We know our parts and what they are for."

Naturists tend to have lower numbers of teen pregnancies, she said. Girls and boys learn about inappropriate actions, and how not to clamor for attention or denigrate themselves or others for "imperfections."

"They end up with a deeper respect for the opposite sex," she said. "It's like there's no surprises. We look deeper than the surface ... you may grow up feeling intimidated talking to a doctor if he's got his suit and tie on, but when there's no clothes on anyone, it's an even playing field."

Post cross-cultural questions and replies at http://www.yforum.com/, or mail to Phillip Milano, Times-Union, P.O. Box 1949, Jacksonville, FL 32231.

Kudos to Phillip Milano for seeking out Nicky Hoffman at TNS to answer this question. I know the French are more comfortable with nudity than most folks in the USA are, but I can't imagine why any mother would want to compel her child to be nude, and remain so, in a social nudist environment. Yes, naturists/nudists should teach their values to their children. Yes, they should take them with them to the family naturist park, and demonstrate clothing optional body acceptance in the home. But, no one should be forced to be nude. This is akin to Christian parents forcing their children to take communion. It is abusive rather than meaningful to the child, until he has taken on those values as his own.

I consider myself fortunate to have been raised with naturist values. I grew up in a family with two parents and two sisters. Though we didn't specifically identify ourselves as "nudists" or "naturists" (I don't think that term had even been coined yet), it was not unusual or considered a "big deal" to see one another nude in our home. We simply were not taught to hide our bodies when dressing, bathing, drying off, or when walking to or from the shower. We even occasionally skinny-dipped as a family. My parents always slept nude, and made no attempt to hide that fact--a practice I eventually adopted for myself.

When I married Kathy, I discovered that she had been raised very differently. She had a number of body-shame issues to overcome before we were finally able to agree upon our own strategies for raising our children. Ultimately (and I'm very grateful and proud of her for this), she overcame her fears, and our children were, for the most part, raised as I was. I think our children have benefited from this kind of upbringing (as I know I have) in ways that they may not even fully realize at this point in their lives. They have grown up without the crippling sense of shame and insecurity about their own bodies or the morbid curiosity about the bodies of others that so many of their contemporaries exhibit. My daughter is recently and happily married, and my son just left home for a six-month Christian missions trip. I am unabashedly proud of what they are making of their lives, and excited to see what the future holds for them.

-Gregg